The moment I walked in, he said that’s what I was. That was before I even told him the sob-story of how shit went south with the government job. How the exec video-called us to say there was no need for a team of writers, that all our work could be done by some younger prick. Before my brother Leonard got drunk and jumped in front of the 351 and practically sawed himself in half. ‘It’s easy,’ he said to me at the time. ‘You just sit there in the crowd, they put the camera on you, and you do something that people will share online.’